Great leader, terrible manager

Hi Reader, Daria's here.

This week on Built by People Leaders, Michael K. Cobb told me about the best boss he ever had.

Her name was Julia. First day of a new consulting job, she sat him down for fifteen minutes. Are you clear on what the job is? Yes. Good, my door’s always open. And that was the whole conversation. He walked out thinking, this is the best job I’ve ever had.

Why? Because no one was managing him.

Years later, Michael built his own company. And while doing so, he realized something about his own style: “On my best day, I’m a good manager. Most days, I’m a bad manager. Most of the time, I’m a terrible manager. But I believe that I’m a great leader most days.”

The Real Problem Wasn't That He Was a Bad Manager

Michael draws a clean line between leadership and management.

Leadership is inspiration: pushing, pulling, guiding, working with people to bring out their best. Management is helping a person do their job.

But that knowledge came with experience. Michael was managing everyone the way he wanted to be managed. “Tell me what you need done and stay out of my way.” Most people, he learned, don’t want that at all.

So one day he hired a COO for his development business. He expected the obvious return, like more efficiency and tighter execution. And he got it. But he also got something else.

Morale went up.

“How is that possible?” he remembered thinking. He’d spent a career certain that structure was a cage. Instead, for most of his people, it was the floor they’d been waiting for.

So the question you should be asking is not whether you are a leader or a manager. The more important question is: “Who on my team needs management or leadership I’m not giving them?”

Three Moves to Close the Gap

Here’s how this works in practice.

1. Name your preference

You can be equally good at both. Know where you lean to most of the time - both are needed. Write it down for yourself, then ask a few people who’ve worked under you which one they got from you.

2. Backfill what you’re not

If you’re a strong leader and a weak manager, don’t try to become a great manager overnight. Hire the management your team needs and let it stand behind you.

This takes a particular humility: building structure you’d never want for yourself. The point is to complete the team around you.

3. Calibrate structure to each person

Structure isn’t one-size. Some people want a lot of direction, some want a little. Ask each person where they land instead of handing everyone the open space that happens to suit you.

The direction that would suffocate you is the exact thing someone else is waiting for. Give people the right amount and both morale and output rise.

What to Remember

So here's the one thing to try this week. Pick one person on your team and ask them, "How much structure do you want from me?"

You may find the freedom you thought you were giving them is the thing they've been waiting for you to take back.

Today's full conversation with Michael is live on Built by People Leaders.

We go deeper into leading remote teams, the informal networks that vanish the moment everyone goes home, and what makes a founder worth following. Go give it a listen.